Happy post-birthday to me!

happy post-birthday to me~~

i am 19 years, 1 hour, and 4 minutes old! i have never been older!! hahah.. it seemed perfectly natural for me to wallow hours before my birthday.. i have always had that sinking despair whenever i am to turn another year older. it's just there. every year. i would toss and turn in bed. stare. cry silently. or burst into sudden, frantic tears. usually i just cry about nothing in particular. sometimes i cry because i feel that i wasn't ready to add yet another year to my age(this was the case of my last year's pre-birthday dementia). being another year older is such a responsibility.

but this year it was somehow different. yes, i had my annual drama a few hours before the cluck struck 12:05am. but it was shorter this year. but then again, the year went by so fast i didn't even realize it. by the time it hit me, i had no chance to contemplate it. my birthday caught me by surprise this year.

but how pleasantly i felt by the end of the day. i felt satisfied and accomplished. i feel i hadn't wasted any time and that i hadn't missed out on anything. perhaps you have no idea of what i am talking about and at this point you probably think i am once again making mountains out of mole hills like usual. well, right or wrong you are it wouldn't matter!

I had a ball at my 19th birthday!