Happy post-birthday to me!

happy post-birthday to me~~

i am 19 years, 1 hour, and 4 minutes old! i have never been older!! hahah.. it seemed perfectly natural for me to wallow hours before my birthday.. i have always had that sinking despair whenever i am to turn another year older. it's just there. every year. i would toss and turn in bed. stare. cry silently. or burst into sudden, frantic tears. usually i just cry about nothing in particular. sometimes i cry because i feel that i wasn't ready to add yet another year to my age(this was the case of my last year's pre-birthday dementia). being another year older is such a responsibility.

but this year it was somehow different. yes, i had my annual drama a few hours before the cluck struck 12:05am. but it was shorter this year. but then again, the year went by so fast i didn't even realize it. by the time it hit me, i had no chance to contemplate it. my birthday caught me by surprise this year.

but how pleasantly i felt by the end of the day. i felt satisfied and accomplished. i feel i hadn't wasted any time and that i hadn't missed out on anything. perhaps you have no idea of what i am talking about and at this point you probably think i am once again making mountains out of mole hills like usual. well, right or wrong you are it wouldn't matter!

I had a ball at my 19th birthday!

Another temporal-insanity

haaaaay buhay. ang saya saya.. sa gitna ng gulo andun sya kahit kunyari parte ng kaguluhan, yun pala sya lang ang maayos sa lahat.. mahuhulog ka na... mapapaamin.. makikipagsapalaran.. sisirain ang lahat para sa kanya.. akala mo okay sya.. yun pala hinde. hinde. hinde. hinde!!!!! isa lang ang oo, ang galing nyang mangbola! kala mo naloko mo na ako..

kaya lahat kayong manloloko tigilan nyo na ako!!!

dogmatically unstable

like i have said countless times before, when there's real stuff going on with my life, im bound to be unable to write anything about it. so it's likely you'll never hear anything important from me. ever.

Senior Prom Pic

this is my favorite pic of my wonderfully dogmatic friends.it's what else but the senior prom! i hate that it's 3 out of the 4 of us though.

WANTED: beach bums

i've been wanting to go to the beach for a loooong time already. my friends want tagaytay but i don't want to go there. i want to go to the beach. is there a beach in tagaytay? im also very depressed but you can't let people know about things like that. they always get suspicious. but im awfully down, i think im sort of developing idiocy. the things i do and the mistakes i make are getting so old and absurd now that ive been doing it rather sporadically. honestly its awful, i swear.

obsessed

crying gets you nowhere but a step towards apathy
i tell you, its an obsession. if he calls you up in your cellphone just to hang up after you say your second "hello" and when he follows you home bacause you refuse to tell him your address (that's stalking but must we go on?). really. and when you get tired of seeing the words "23 new messages received" and you just want to throw your phone away. don't forget that his profile in friendster reads exactly the same as yours. does he even know Marcus Flutie is fictional? why, no, sice he asked you for the nth time where you met krispykreme!*#$@@!! you told him you try everytime your grandma comes to visit (and he doesn't get that either). he translates your favorite song in tagalog and sends it to you via SMS. LOVE ME he begs. SPARE ME you said with a straight face. AND PLEASE, you added. STOP MAKING FRIENDS WITH MY DOG.

a little above the rabbit's fur

what is there to write about really?
Do we write about the things that happened on Marty's seventh wedding that shouldn't have happened? Or the what your bestfriend told you when you've accidentally blurted and fatally regretted not later than 2 seconds that you're in love with him/her? should we write about what you dream your husband might look like or how everyone's going to drool over your very first car?
maybe maybe maybe. it's no problem what kind of idiotic thing you plan to write about, it is the inability to find anything that is very troublesome.

anyway,

concern yourself with this:
what if you slept? and what if, in your sleep, you dreamed? and what if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? and what if, when you awoke, you had the flower in your hand? ah, what then?