so today, he decided he wanted to see me and told me so when he called me up. dont get the wrong idea. he wanted something that has to do with an online game. i would've shot you a wide-eyed-surprise look if you really though he wanted to see ME. (splat! right on TARget)
it hurts so much that all his friends* had to do is holler out to him to play a game with them and he'll come FUCKING running like a dog. of course, i didn't have any choice but to step aside quietly without resistance. i mean, sure i could have given him hell but that was just so YESTERDAY. its different now. i am stripped of every right to be at the very least bit irritating or inconvenient to him. he didn't even try to fake an "oh you're going home already? come on you should STAY. i wanna be with YOU". but why would he anyway?
this was just a not-so-subtle reminder to me that hey, im not joking myself. this is for real. its actually happening. no turning back now. no sirrree. how'd ya like them suzie Q?
so he walked me home into the soft drizzle 3o minutes after we've met at the computer shop and i quickly closed the gate behind me. i dont want him to expect it to be any romantic goodnight or anything. he, for one thing did not deserve it and hell, i don't feel like giving him one anyhow. man, im getting really edgy over all those goodbyes.
i have to get use to all this. i shouldn't be expecting anything more from this guy i somehow once shared my life with. it was just a short 3 years wasn't it? i mean, not even half of my life! why should i be so upset? why should i be affected? why should a get hurt everytime we "see" each other? why should i care?
who would have though there was only ONE ANSWER TO ALL THOSE QUESTIONS.
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